(Archived, September 2018) I feel like each one of these blog posts about some of the recent sessions I’ve had, has been a form of therapy for me. It may be annoying and I may be another millennial who overshares on the internet but this has really become an amazing sounding board.
Going into this shoot with Brianna I was nervous. Like really nervous, like scared nervous, like I actually canceled on her because I was so nervous, nervous. After canceling on her last minute (I’m literally an anxious asshole), Brianna insisted we reschedule. She really pushed me to get off my ass and create because she knows exactly what it’s like to be so anxious about creating something. I and many other creatives struggle to be okay with failure. In this social climate, if you’re not making the BEST stuff then you shouldn’t be making anything at all. But newsflash creators!!!! That’s not how it is in reality. It’s how our anxiety about public failure, about being talked about negatively, about being made fun of for what we create – the anxiety we have as creators shape our perception of our own work. I’ve felt like the films I’ve made for the past 12 years have been for nothing because I never reached instagram fame or YouTube fame or even Facebook fame. I post, get no recognition or response and get more discouraged as time goes on. But I can’t be discouraged. None of us can. Each idea is our own artistic rendition of what the heck is going on in our reality and it’s valid. If taking a picture of your lunch and putting an instagram filter and posting it is how you get our create juices out than so be it. Filmmaking and photography is mine. Modeling is Brianna’s. And the world just has to respect that this is our passion and we won’t be stopped.
